houston, we have a t-square

if the last couple of weeks have been a bit of a mess, it’s not your fault. it’s planetary. there’s a T-square in the sky where there's normally a looser, more improvised arrangement of celestial bodies. when i say T-square i mean a configuration of a couple sets of planets sitting opposite one another all the while holding a 90 degree angle to the planets to either side. got that? right. here's a visual:

let me whittle this down to a more manageable size: it would be like breaking a game of pool (which i don't play) and watching the balls ricochet off the table's edges (in foreboding slo-mo) only to settle comfortably in a formation remarkably similar to the word "doom". if this happened to you, you would get the chills, the creeps, the freaky-deakies, the franks. you would look over your shoulder a little more than the next guy. unless of course the next guy was an aries, cancer, libra or capricorn – then he’d be tapped into the heavenly vibes more than four of you combined.

there's a song by a famous quebecois songstress that claims love can move mountains or something. but that is just sissy-talk given the task at hand. we need to move planets, people. we need a voice and stage presence with an exponentially greater g-force to knock those giant marbles out of order. we might need some form of whitney.